An Explanation

These posts are entries from my Moleskine Notebook, where my brain gets spilled a few times a day. I don't plan on posting every single entry, just things I feel like posting. These are uncensored, and very personal. There is a reason this blog is by invite only. Read at your own risk ;)

Friday, September 16, 2011

"Don't turn away, Dry your eyes, Dry your eyes."

10:07am 9-8-11

Lost in downtown Little Rock--
that's where my mind is.
The street lights are flickering
and my heart is falling
down the hole that is caving in
from the undersides of my collarbones.
This acid-like worry is eating its way
through my flesh & bones, & forming
a rabbit hole to the bottom of my stomach.
You being the worrisome white rabbit--my heart & I being
the curiously clumsy girl who fell
in after you.

As of now I'm not completely
sure as to whether I'm flying
or plummetting as I race
past flashes of your smile--
gentle flirtations that let me know this whole "just friends"
business isn't the easiest for you either.

What's going on inside my body
is as close to that twisted wonderland
as I will ever get--

My heart forced to pretend,
& My mind relentlessly reminding me
that no-- I didn't wake up next to you today.

No--I don't get to hold your hand.

& Yes-- Those streetlamps are slowly
flickering away.

You, the light ot my life, ifs growing
darker with each worry upon your mind.
So I will live inside my own darkness
to give you your light.
I will give you the space you need to
make things right.

But simply put, I will always love you.
I want to be there for you,
To be the Best friend you need,
& if that's all I can be,
That'll be enough for me.

You have all of me.
I love you.

"Life is always hard for the Belle of the Boulevard"

Samantha Weldon 10:27am

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