10:27am 07/19/12

"Don't ever say that."
&suddenly, you're awake.
I said I was leaving,
But your touch begged me to stay.
During these few hours that I'm away,
Minutes turn to days, it seems.
The way you pleaded half-asleep this morning made it more real than before.
I never believed that I'd ever find someone like you.
You amaze me every day, baby.
&leaving your side every morning is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I wake up in the arms of a man who loves me more than life,
&I've never felt so good.

We are everything; behind my eyelids the colors I see are the most beautiful traces of what makes you & me.
The earth has never ever been so wondrous to me,
As it is now with you here by my side.
I see everything that is good, &wonderful in the world that I like to call your eyes.
In your arms I am safe.
I belong.
We belong together.
After what now feels like ages--a whole 18 years--
I have found you,
Or rather, you found me.
You saw a broken soul & thought it to be beautiful,
You took the pieces of my shattered heart and put it back together.
You've created a masterpiece out of all the fragile parts of me by filling them with the sweetest love & making me the happiest I'll ever be;
Because you, your love, is what was missing in me.
10:49AM
Samantha Weldon
For my Seth, with my heart <3

03/26/12 11:10AM

There's a perfect place in this world--
a place where I belong,
& long to keep as long as you'll let me:
your arms.
I say it's perfect because it's perfect for me,
within them is where I fall so effortlessly.

In your embrace I believe everything you tell me because in your deep brown eyes,
I see soul, truth.
I see no lies.
You tell me I"m wonderful,
& I believe it,
because your kiss paints me golden,
like the sun tints my blue eyes to match my summer soul
which I daresay when paired with yours,
we make the sun rise in the summer sky.

Our hearts burn so bright for one another that no-one could deny our lights when seen together.
Our heat radiates to each other even from so far away,
because darling, I need your touch every day.

I need that hand to hold to make sure I'm awake,
that kiss to make sure I'm dreaming,
& your arms to show you than I am here to stay.

I need you to see that you have absolutely
all of me.
I tell you every day that I am yours,
but it doesn't feel like enough.
I could not tell you how much there is to me that only you understand,
but I guess I don't need to.
I just need you,
& I'm hoping that maybe you might need me too.

No matter what happens, we will always be beautiful,
bright, & warm,
& wonderful.

Every moment of ours is cherished,
& every breath you take from me will be surrendered at ease,
because darling,
as long as we are one,
we will shine brighter than any sun.

We will be the love that everyone needs,
but the perfect antidote for the need within you&me.
You & I*
whatever.

We are perfect,
ruthlessly goofy,
yet the most sincere feeling I've ever felt,
& with everything,
I'm not letting this go, baby.
Believe me.

11:44AM
-Samantha Weldon

WANDERLUST

12:04AM 03-05-12

This pavement feels like home to me,

because my eyes are seeing such beautiful things with beautiful sounds to accompany.

& I love how these birds sing--

its as if they sing explicitly to me,

yet their song is theirs exclusively.

This cool march air fills my body,

with their songs they sing so effortlessly,

it creates a feather that carries me to a place where the winter can't find me.

My summer skin soaks in

every ounce of their summer sound.

& my heart is the sun;

Its heat burns so fierce for you,

my only one.

My sultry summer sun hangs amongst the blue skies that I found in your eyes,

& in those skies I have wings that lift me to the place where the winter can't find you and me.

The cool spring breeze makes me long for warmer days,

sweet kisses,

& your touch on my skin.

It's just enough to chill me down to my heart & makes me wonder,

"where do I even start"

when it comes to the thought that you might really love me,

there's only one feeling & that is

lucky.

I have no need for the feather that once carried me,

because now,

in your arms--

my heart rate sends me flying, into your blue sky eyes where all I feel is love,

& everything I didn't know I'd need.

I love you.

with everything,

more than I could ever be,

& more than I could even describe.

Because when you feel like you're flying,

your thoughts get scattered, & all I really am is flattered.

I'm sick of rhyming,

this is going in circles.

SAJDSFLKANDSFLKJ WELFDFJLSJF 12:19AM

02:27:12 11:18AM

I'm wearing your baseball tee to class today.

It still smells like you.

I believe that I'm reminded of you in the most bittersweet ways like last night--

Jon was "playing" me like a drum, & I remembered the time you had Taylor pick an instrument for you to "play" on me.

I even smiled about it while I laid next to him.

I miss the good days--but not as much as I love these days,

& I can't thank you enough for that.

Thank GOD you let me go.

Thank GOD you forgot me.

Because if you hadn't, I wouldn't have this sweet love that I have now...even though ours was like a fairytale. We were just stupid kids.

Stupid kids in love.

& honestly smelling your scent after forgetting it for so long is nothing but absolutely sickening.

Your sweet smell sticks to my skin like the sun in the sky

it fills my breath & I remember that swoon I used to coast on between kisses & giggles we shared.

I remember waking up next to you at dawn on Petit Jean Mountain,

& walking through the streetlights of downtown.

The "before-I-die" Wall,

the sheets,

the best nights,

& the worst.

I will never forget when you broke down because you almost gave me up.

Those precious tears you shed on my chest behind the dorm where we ran through the sprinklers the night we met.

Where you became my Prince Charming in a beanie & bare-feet.

I miss you, but I don't miss him.

There's so much to what we were and yet so little.

You will always be in my heart, Jared, & even though I'm probably never in your thoughts,

I'm glad I was.

I'm glad I was your girl,

if only for a little while.

You taught me a great deal about myself,

& I know one thing,

I will always love you,

if for nothing but the nostalgia of sweet August Air rushing through our lungs on the first night & becoming stronger on the last.

Forever my Never.

Samantha Weldon 11:48AM

Summer Forever

2:05pm 02/06/12
I'm the kind of girl who avoids all things safe and sound.
I've been playing in traffic it seems for years now,
My bare feet rubbed raw against the hot black asphalt,
The sultry, sweet, Arkansas air sticks to my tongue as I laugh and dance through oncoming cars,
Making each lane my stage and you are my crowd to please.
Most of all I adore the summer showers,
They thunder and shout with rage at the dry earth,
They flood the ground, fill my eyes, & soak my skin--
My clothes cling to my tanned sides,
And it seems that it is then that I catch your eyes.
My dress is just another layer,
I become an instrument,
& you are my player.
I change my dance to your cadence,
& you make me yours as the night hastens,
Sparks fly between our lips like fireflies in the sky turning to dusk,
Our hearts beat in company with the chirping crickets around us,
Providing percussion to the summer symphony that has enveloped every part.of you & me.
& hands down,
You have been the first to truly ensnare me,
You make my heart flutter,
My eyes dart,
& my hands clutch to yours--
Because besides this familiar heat,
That grasp reminds me that I'm finally not dreaming.
I'm awake, alive, & in your arms.
I feel as if i can breathe easily,
Because for the first time in awhile,
I'm not letting go of the trust I've given with my smile.
I'm starting to believe that something real has finally come to me.
You make me forget my heart was ever broken.
You make it okay,
Because you see I love as fierce as the sun,
& it seems like you want to be my one.
The thought of you makes me forget to rhyme.
It's kind of cute.
I hope that you think.of me as your summer breeze,
Warm and inviting,
Never harsh and bitter,
But yours for however long you choose to enjoy it.
& if i could control the weather,
You'd be my summer forever.
-Samantha Weldon 2:24pm
Here's to what's to come

Because I was watching Smoke.

Baby, you were just like my Swisher Sweets.
Take a drag to feel good--
then leave me lost in the streets,
with nothing but a forever-burning addiction between my fingertips.

Your sickening sweetness simply consumed me--
I could feel you burning in my lungs,
yet you cooled my blood,
& slowed my aching heart.
Your eyes were so loving,
and so misleading,
because You became my everything,
my every-day,
my only way,

Then You disappeared, Just like the smoke in the September air::
Beautifully detached,
wisping away with each exhale that escapes my lips,
eventually causing me to gasp for oxygen,
to break in to coughing fits to rid my body of your poison--
Your sweet, wine-flavored, cyanide kiss that tempts my lips when you catch me breathing too easily.

& though you're gone,
the memory remains like tar in my lungs;
You're on my mind,
there's smoke on my breath,
& all I've got now are a few ashes.

Your hat, t-shirt, a few words, & a defective dreamcatcher.

That's the thing with ashes though, hold them too close, & all you've got are dirty hands.

So I'll blow your mess off my bed,
I'll never forget the words you said,
I'll be careful not to crush any of your poison dust--
& You'll be swept away,
to never return.

& I'll keep my Swisher, Love.
You keep your feel-good-drag,
& 5 months later, I'll be just fine,
watching the air rid me of what once was mine.

1/13/2012

"How do I live?"

12:45am 11-14-11

Every night I close my eyes

&

I

shudder.

Thoughts of you flood my brain.

They bind my eyelids shut

to face the empty space inside

that you left when you said "Goodbye".

I'm fucking scared to fucking death.

You don't even speak to me anymore.

You left because you couldn't give me

everything--

& now I can't find the courage

to take my everything back,

much less give it to someone

else because you had it all.

You have every piece of me that

I was afraid to give,

& I don't know how to

get them back.

You were my first,

my best,

& my worst.

Never have I cried the way I did over you.

Never have I lied the way I did for you.

Never have I ever felt so betrayed.

"It's over, and we're friends :)"

Friends talk.

They care.

You don't.

You built up every dream I could imagine

between us,

You showed me the life I wanted to live

...with you.

Then you tore my dream masterpiece

down--

We were surrounded by the walls of

past, future, love & sex.

We were present.

intimate.

the everything you couldn't give,

& the everything I'll never get back.

Tell me how I'm supposed to forget.

Tell me how to breathe like our

lips never touched,

& that we never fell in love.

Tell me how I give my 100% to

someone else when I left it

in your bedroom?

I miss you.

& I probably don't even cross your mind.

Give me back, please.

-Samantha Weldon 12:58am